Palm Reading

Yesterday my friend and I went to a psychic for a palm reading. That's what most normal people do on Tuesday afternoons in broad daylight, right? We also decided we only wanted a cheap $10 reading because honestly that's pretty much all we think our past, present, and future is worth. So we go to this shady place that we drive by every single day mainly because we remember that the markee outside always says "$10 Readings". I go first completely unprepared. I had hardly any questions to ask. I pretty much just wanted to throw my hands on the table and be told "Don't worry. You're going to be just fine." She told me to think of two questions and keep one in my head and say the other out loud. My mind went completely blank. I had no idea what direction I wanted the reading to go in. So I said the first thing that came to my mind. I'm sure she's heard the same question one hundred katrillion times before from the one hundred katrillion shmucks that came before me. But guess what? She got to hear it one hundred katrillion plus one times. "Am I going to find real love that will make me truly happy?", I ask. It truly is something I genuinely worry about. I've been around the block a couple of times and I am not impressed at all by the scenery. She had me state my full name and birthday...maybe she won't steal my identity....hmmm....anyway....and then she stared at my palms. She told me that I have a long healthy lifeline and I will find my soulmate and be happy one day. Whew! Good to know. She said she rarely is able to tell people that. I asked her about work and if I should stay where I am or move to another department. She said I am where I need to be but I need to find a better outlet for my stress because I take on other people's stresses along with my stress and never let any of it go. Then we went back to relationships. She saw a long, strange relationship that has been on again and off again. She was laughing at how crazy it was. I said "What?!?" and immediately stared at my palms as well as if the ability to read palms was going to become apparent to me. It didn't. So I looked up at her and said "What do you think about it?". As she continued to laugh, she said "Well I know all of your friends are telling you he's no good for you and they are right but it doesn't do any good for them or me to tell you so because you won't listen." Touché, Sister Power, touché. Then she got serious. She looked at me and said "This was supposed to be your prosperous year and you have done nothing with it." I had to pretty much pick my jaw off of the floor. I had completely forgotten until that moment that I had proclaimed in January that this was going to be MY YEAR. She was completely right. I had done nothing but wallow in self pity for the last several months. What happened to the gung ho girl that was ready to take on the world? She said I needed to quit talking about traveling and doing other things I want to do and start actually doing them and following through. Has this woman been following me?

I know most of you reading this are thinking "Oh my God, this girl is actually believing this crap." No, no. I take it as what it is. Entertainment. At the same time though, it was the cheapest wake up call I could probably ask for. Only $10. You can't beat that. My friend's reading was even more eerily accurate but that's her story to tell, not mine.

The day before the palm reading I bought notebooks for myself and friends so we can get our lives in some sort of working order. So we are using them to make lists that we force ourselves to stick to. I was going somewhere with this but I'm totally drawing a blank right now. Must be time for bed.

Side Note: Saw Crazy Stupid Love today. Go see it right now!! Love it!

Hey There!

Good Lord, I have not blogged since April! So I kind of feel like I have a little bit of explaining to do. Most people probably don't know that I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for the last 8 years. I had the brilliant idea to come off my anxiety medication last year because I was in the process of getting rid of the major source of my anxiety, i.e. my husband. Probably not a great idea because it finally caught up with me in the form of depression this time instead of anxiety. Don't get me wrong. I've always been a functional depressed person. When I have to get up and go I do. I'm not necessarily very pleasant when I am up and moving, but I'm moving nevertheless. One weekend in June I literally did not move except to take Avery out and go to the bathroom. That's it. There was no showering, no eating, no phone....nothing. I woke up Monday and decided that I was being completely ridiculous and I can't keep living in that state. I went to the doctor and asked to be put back on my anxiety meds. To my shock she would not give me my old prescription back because she said I needed depression medicine instead. I then started crying which did not help my case at all. Ugh! I took the script and just sat in my car wondering if I should even get it filled. I called my mom because she is the one person you can always call and she'll make you feel better, right? Umm...not so much. This is how that conversation went:

Me: Hey Mama.
Her: What's wrong with you?
Me: I just went to the doctor.
Her: For what?
Me: For my depression.
Her: What depression?
Me: I'm depressed. I can't get out of bed. I can't function. I cry constantly and I'm sad. And now the doctor put me on antidepressants so now I'm depressed because I need antidepressants.
Her: Well you just need to take a walk in the sunshine.
Me: I can't even walk to the kitchen to feed myself, MOM. How am I going to make it all the way outside?!?
Her: It would make you feel better.
Me: I gotta go. I'll talk to you later.

Good talk mom, good talk. After that I went directly to the pharmacy and filled my prescription. I started on Effexor. For the first three weeks I felt like I was on crack and dropped fifteen pounds like it was nothing. It's been almost two months now and I can tell a difference. I'm still a bum at home but let's face it, I've never been a go-getter when it comes to housework. It's made a huge difference at work. I know this because several coworkers have said things like "Oh my GOD you are SOOO much better!!" Thanks guys. I get it. I can be a bitch. Most of them still love me even though they won't admit it to themselves.

On to more pleasant stuff....

Just got back from vacation in St. George Island. My favorite place in the whole wide world! I went with my parents, sisters, and grandmother. Surprisingly, there where no large fights that lasted longer than 10 minutes and we all left still talking to each other. Huge success in the Hayes household! I spent the whole week fishing with my dad. I'm trying to decide if he enjoys my company out there or if he just likes the fact that my presence and license allow him to keep extra fish. I'd like to think it's my company. Fishing with my dad should be considered an extreme sport. He has raised his children as soldiers in the war against trout. He gets you out in the ocean and there is no turning back until he says so. That is usually ten hours later.

Please take note of his sweet fishing set up. You've got all the conveniences of a boat without the expense of gas. He has discovered wade fishing this year with the economy being in the crapper and all. I'm actually starting to also prefer this method of fishing for several reasons:
1) I can park where we are fishing and come and go as I please.
2) You don't get as hot in the water.
3) I can pee whenever I need to.

There are downfalls though:
1) Jellyfish stings. They seriously suck.
2) Potential shark attacks. I got close twice...that I was aware of...
3) It makes me nervous reeling in something up close to me that I can't see until it gets on top of me. I prefer to know if I'm reeling in a four foot shark before it gets a foot away from me without the protection of a boat. But that's just me...

I only sustained a few injuries during the week. The worse one was when Morgan and I were throwing mullets at each other and I got finned in the palm of my hand. Note to self: Wear gloves when blocking fish that are being thrown at you.

We had a terrible time trying to keep my grandmother oriented to time during the trip. She just could not comprehend that we were NOT in a different time zone. NBC was a Panama City channel which is in the Central Time Zone. She would say things like "I thought I slept late cause my bedroom radio said it was 8 but the television says it's 7" or while talking on the phone "Well you know the time is a hour earlier here so I can't figure out when Days Of Our Lives comes on." We would then say "The time is NOT different!!" She never believed us. I should also mention that she never missed a second of any episodes of DOOL

We also made the mistake of showing her "The Ultimate Dog Tease" video. She loved it and told everyone she called on the phone to watch it. "I'll have Rebecca e-mail it to you", she'd say. She'd then get mad when they wouldn't immediately call back and proclaim their love for it as well. God, I love that woman!

Well, goodnight everybody! I promise I'll blog again very soon!